I'm tired

I am tired of people telling me that she will catch up in her own time.

I am tired of people telling me that I should be grateful that she isn't walking yet because I don't have to work as hard. (as if! these people have never had to give physical therapy to an infant)

I am tired of people warning me that this behavior or that behavior might mean "something serious might be going on", and that I should talk to her doctor. (although I had one woman tell me once that if something serious were wrong, the doctor would have told me by now: completely untrue!)

I am tired of people telling me that they are sure that everything will be fine. (really, are you psychic?)

I don't need advice, fake envy, or false promises. I need you to realize that I love my daughter and I accept the way she is (now and in the undetermined future), even if you can't.

I admit that I was crazy worried when we realized that she was so far behind. However, I am much more at peace with the situation. I still have worries, but they are much smaller and much less consuming than at the beginning. She is the way she is and there is nothing wrong with that. Even if she ends up diagnosed with some kind of medical condition, she is still perfect the way she is. I will not love her any less than I would if she were "normal".

The things that people say to me seem to speak to a general fear of things outside the norm. These people, by the way, come at me from the line in the supermarket, the other moms at the playground; most of them are complete strangers! You know how people are with babies. "Oh, she is so cute...how old is she?" Then comes the statement of age (now almost 15 months) and they realize that she isn't talking and she isn't walking. That is when "it" starts. I should just lie and say that she is 11 months but big for her age.

oh, how things will change

I just find it amusing, the little changes that occur in Ella's schedule.
For the longest time she was waking at 7am. Then, about 2 weeks ago, she begins waking at 6:30am. Mind you, at 6:30 the sun is not yet up, and this little change caused me great pains at first. It always takes me awhile to adjust to waking up in the dark.

So, the last 2 days she has woken up even earlier, but I have waited to see if she would fall back to sleep. I guess I just have a mental block about getting out of bed earlier than 6am. Plus, I knew that if she woke up that early, her nap would be early, and everything would get screwy. So, yesterday she did fall back to sleep and then slept until 7:30. WOW, I can't tell you how nice that was.

Today, however, is a bit different. She woke up at 5:40 and I was determined not to get up unless she started screaming bloody murder. I listened to her babble to herself off and on for almost an hour before she fell back to sleep. So, now it is 8:30 am and she is still asleep! I woke up at 8 in complete shock that I had slept that late. I don't think I have slept that late since before she was born! I know that she is OK because I can hear her breathing on the monitor if I turn it up really loud, but I was a bit scared for a minute that something was really wrong.

Oh well. Adventures in parenting.

She is awake now, gotta go.

It is official

She is crawling. She is very coordinated about it, if she is still a bit slower than average. I am sure that she will pick up the speed very quickly.

almost, kinda, sorta

She is almost crawling.

She gets herself from sitting down on to her hands and knees. Then she walks her hands forward and, after some thinking, she will scoot one knee up, then the other.

She is by no means coordinated or even very quick about it. It probably took her 2 minutes to move 6 inches. But it is certainly an improvement and a good starting point to work with.

And, she is very proud of herself. She kept looking up at me (she was mostly looking at the laundry basket which was her motivation for moving) and smiling, then sticking her tongue out.

new, current pic

Look at that face!

You must also note the blurry foot. This is because she perpetually kicks her feet when laying on her stomach. Particularly when she is happy or frustrated. Here, she is happy. She loves having her picture taken.

More...more...more

Today she performed her voluntary tummy time 4 more times (moving from a sitting position to laying on her tummy). She did this 2 times on the bed and 2 times on the floor.

In case you are wondering about the significance of the bed vs. floor issue, I will explain. She is more likely to make a large move (rolling over, going from sitting to tummy) on the bed because she knows it is soft and she will not hurt herself.

Tomorrow is PT day. I can't wait to tell her how well things are going.

voluntary tummy time

Today, I was sitting on the couch, talking on the phone with Matt (normally I am sitting on the floor near Ella when she is playing). While we were talking, Ella decided that she wanted the top to her drum which was way out of her reach. She moved herself from a sitting position to laying on her belly on the floor so that she could reach this toy. This is the first time she has done this in months, and the first time she has EVER done it on the floor (the previous time it happened, she was on the bed).

Also, when she did it, she did not cry.

I will say it again: She did not cry.