Wii thoughts

I must say that, for a woman who is pretty put off my most video games, the Wii system is awesome. I am currently very happy spending my "off" time during her naps playing the "Big Brain Academy". It is fun and I feel like it is making me smarter.

Wait...I don't think "smarter" is a word. Shouldn't it be "more smart"....oh well.

And I was an English major in college.

Ella update

OK, after talking to the pediatrician, a good friend who lives in NH, and my husband, I decided to call the county and get an appointment for Ella to be "assessed". What this means is that the county's early intervention program will send out a nurse to evaluate Ella and see if she is lagging behind in some/all areas of development. Then, hopefully, she will give me some exercises to do with Ella to help her get the hang of some things that she can't do yet, and they will follow up to see how she is progressing.

I had been very anxious on this subject but I am feeling much better now. I think that the idea that something could be done but wasn't being done was what was making me feel so upset. I am glad that I have taken this step and I am feeling fairly confident that any issues Ella has will be resolved in time. In other words, I am fairly confident/hopeful that she is simply taking things at her own pace and not that there is anything "wrong" with her (autism, etc.).

I have been taking the advice of my friend in NH, as well as using some of my own common sense. As a result Ella does seem more interested in moving around more and trying new things. She also seems so much more awake and aware.

nurses, doctors, and pharmasists, OH MY!

Today I went to the doctor and he told me that I can have some tests to make sure, but that I am probably, basically, screwed.

Brief background: I have had pelvic pain off and on since I was a teenager. Previously diagnosed with endometriosis but some symptoms don't fit. Endo cannot be definitively diagnosed without a laproscopic surgery, which I did not have. So, now that I have gotten my period back after having Ella, the pain is SO bad and is directly associated with my period only.

Doc says, I don't feel anything in the exam (no cysts on ovaries, etc.) Doc says, get a sonogram to rule out other problems. However, if sono is clear than I either have endometriosis or dysmenorhea (painful periods). I have not thoroughly discussed this with him, but I believe the answer to both issues is "go on the pill forever" (or at least until I hit menopause).

I HATE TAKING MEDICATION!

YAY!

I am going to be an aunt for the second time!

This will be interesting...to see what it is like to have two children who are about 2 years apart in age. I wonder if it will make me want a second child, or if it will have the opposite effect.

I know I can be a bitch sometimes...

but you probably wonder why, so I will tell you.

#1. I can't take my frustrations on my child who, no matter how much I lover her can be very frustrating at times. So, I take them out on you because you are old enough to handle them.

#2. I am going to get bitchy when someone suggests that something is wrong with my child. She has had enough problems without you adding to them, and I worry about her enough already, too.

#3. Don't keep asking me, "Is she doing ______, yet?", or trying to make my child do something that I already told you she can't do. IF she is developmentally delayed (which, again, I worry about enough without you adding to it) then that is MY problem and MY business, not yours.

What I truely want in this world is to have a conversation with another parent without wondering if something is wrong with my child. I want to come over to a friends house without someone acting as though they can "fix" my child. She isn't broken and I love her just the way she is.

mommy's day off

I got her to take two naps yesterday and consequently, she woke up at 5:30 today. Do I really have to trade a one nap day for a day when she wakes up on hour earlier?

So, today is Saturday and I woke up with Ella and spent the three hours before her first nap playing with her, feeding her, etc. Now, at 9am, her father has woken up and will take care of her for a majority of the rest of the day because it is "Mommy's day off"! I plan to attend my Weight Watcher's meeting (even though I haven't actually followed the plan for almost 2 months now), take myself out to lunch, do a little shopping, and go see a movie. I will be gone from the house from 9:30am until about 4pm. I will miss her the whole time, but I will also feel good about getting to do some of the things I love for awhile without having to worry about feeding schedules, etc. PLUS, she gets some quality daddy time which, I admit, doesn't happen much when I am around because I am so used to being the only one taking care of her that I don't automatically think to let him take over when I am home.

Holy crap! I can't believe it! She fell asleep with no fussing or anything! I tend to write the blog while I am waiting for her to fall asleep, or after she is already asleep. She has been completely quiet since I was about halfway done the above paragraph. This is a big improvement over yesterday when it took me over an hour to get her to take a first nap (there was some vomiting and sheet changing involved in yesterday's debaucle). You know, it figures that she would be less stress than normal on a day when Matt is taking care of her. I can hear it now, "I don't know why you seem so stressed a lot of the time, she was a breeze for me today." Humph!

fixers and uppers

Fixers:
ok, for those of you who complained about not being able to leave a comment, I think that I have fixed it so that you don't have to be a member to make one. You have to give me a little room for error since I don't do great with "computer stuff" and this web site is not the easiest I have ever been on.

Uppers:
SHE IS ASLEEP
I have done over a half dozen loads of laundry and countless dishes this week
I went to the gym AND walked around the neighborhood with Ella yesterday
I cooked something new this week and consequently discovered that I don't really like eggplant
We took a walk around Centennial Lake on Wednesday and hugged a tree.

health update

OK, no eye infection. The watery eye issuse was gone by the next morning. I do still wish that she would completely get over this cold. Her nose is runny which gives her the post nasal drip and then makes her cough. Coughing often leads to vomiting, particularly if she has just eaten. She covered herself with her breakfast this morning and had to have a bath.

Also, as you may have already figured out, she isn't sleeping normally. One one out of the past 10 days has she taken more than one nap. So, this morning I decided to get her up at 6 am (her pre sickness wake up time) in hopes that the hour earlier wake up would cause her to take two naps. Well, it is now 15 minutes since I put her down for her first nap and she is still not asleep. Mind you, she was rubbing her eyes frantically and yawning to draw flies from 3 states.

Deep breaths...

trials and tribulations

I took Ella to the doc's last week for a strange fever and vomiting. It was just a passing virus and the visit was essentially pointless except to give me peace of mind (ie. does she have an ear infection, strep throat, or some other illness that she would need medication for?) Now today I notice that she has this big "sleepy" (crust in the corner of her eye) after waking up. She gets another one after her nap. Then I notice one when I am giving her her 3pm bottle. This last one is small but it is green. Then I notice that her right eye (same eye as all the sleepys) is tearing up more than usual. Now it is past time for the doctor's office to close so I can't call and ask for an appointment for tomorrow. I am figuring that the best thing to do would be to wait and see how it is in the morning and if it is still bad then I will call the doc's office when it opens.

Hurray (sarcasm)

Why is my asshole neighbor weedwacking at 7pm? Doesn't he know that at least two women on this cul-de-sac have children under a year old! At least the sun will be down soon and he will either stop, or injure himself (which would probably cause a cease of work also).
Of course, that takes me back to a July 4th a few years ago when our other neighbor had a 5 month old and we were lighting fireworks off (illegally) in my side yard after their child went to bed. At least that woman had the balls (ladies: we need to come up with a gender appropriate equivalent to this one) to tell us that we needed to stop. I, however, am just sitting at my computer complaining but not doing anything about it. At least it isn't actually keeping her awake. Why would it...she only took one nap again today so she is exhausted.

OK, rant over.

no nap...the day goes on

OK, I got the walk in. I feel much better now.

I pushed her on the swing for awhile and just spent a few minutes enjoying watching her laugh. I wish that life could be like that all the time. I feel guilty when I don't enjoy her as much as I can. A life spent complaining (read: in a bad mood) is a wasted life. Why can't I just be happier?

............wait a minute, I better stop complaining and take my own advice.

Tomorrow is a new day. I will make it a better one.

waiting for a nap

God please just let her go to sleep so that I can have a few minutes to myself today!

The brightest part of my day is when Ella smiles or laughs. It is even better when she does those things because of me. However, the part of the day I dread the most is when I have to get her to try and take a nap. For the past week she has been practically refusing to take naps. It is frustrating to listen to her on the monitor crying or babbling to herself when she should be sleeping. When she does sleep, that is when I feel the most like my whole self...not just a mom.

Well, my first post will be a short one because she isn't going to go to sleep, and I have to give up and go get her out of the crib.

I need a walk. They help keep me sane, and sometimes she sleeps in the stroller.